Day 13: Accepting Consequences
of The Heart of God: Through David’s Eyes
Below is Day Thirteen of the study, but there is an introduction to check out which gives context and sets the tone, and previous weeks to look at below. If you would like the full content all in one place, this book is now available for purchase on Amazon. Week 1 - He Longs for Us to Know Who We Are
Week 2 - He Longs for Us to Respond
Day 9: Extending Mercy
Day 10: Inviting Accountability
Day 11: Confessing Freely
Day 12: Mourning Brokenness
Day 13: Accepting Consequences
Loss can be an overwhelming experience for all of us. When each of us were young children, we would tantrum or burst into tears at discovering a toy missing or when in need of our parents. If you have a good memory, you may recall one of these experiences where you felt deep loss and had no hesitation communicating your needs. More often than not, we hope for mercy (not receiving what we deserve) and grace (receiving something we didn’t earn), but at other times, we are seeking the consequences of our actions.
For a week at the end of summer break, my teenage daughter was stressed about school starting back up. She was giving all imaginable variations of attitudes I didn’t even know existed, and our home environment generally felt like a war zone. I was intentionally extending mercy and grace, but those were being hurled back at me with aggression. Finally, I had experienced enough of the back and forth. In search of reprieve, I put my foot firmly down. Instead of giving my daughter what I wanted to give her (read:mercy,grace), I submitted to what she clearly wanted: firm boundaries.
With a firm tone, I offered her choices she really did not like, but also stood up for myself in a way she hadn’t seen in the week I was trying to support the emotional rollercoaster she was strapped into. My firm boundaries gave her entire body a refreshing security that I could visibly see. Once I saw her positive response, I realized this was what she needed.
While each child is different, this particular daughter of mine needed very clear boundaries and follow through. Receiving the consequences for her actions allowed her entire demeanor to adjust. She was able to function more clearly after pushing a boundary and receiving a bit of pain through losing a privilege for a while.
As David confronted the consequences of his actions in a much more tumultuous way, he expressed his anguish through traditional mourning practices. He fasted, prayed, and slept on the floor in sackcloth. David was earnestly seeking to mend what he had broken with God. There was a shift in his behavior, so much that his staff was concerned. He spent a week, while his son was gravely ill, feeling the anguish of the situation. Eventually, the prophecy Nathan had given David about his child was fulfilled.
On the seventh day the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.” David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.” Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate. (2 Samuel 11: 18-20)
The attendants with David were afraid he would hurt himself or react harshly due to his deep despair, but David did not react the way they expected. Once he realized his son was dead, he no longer felt the need to plead to God for his son’s life. David got up, cleaned himself up, and went to worship the God whom he could have blamed for his circumstances.
“His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him; and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah.” (2 Samuel 12:21-25)
When he was aware of what God promised, he was able to mourn the consequences of his behavior and repent, turning away from his sin. He attempted to display his remorse but accepted the consequences as fair and reasonable.
David navigated these circumstances with humility and ownership in response to the gracious way God spared his own life.
As we face the same mercy and grace from God, we can choose to see the consequences for our sin as the loving intervention they can be. May we choose to worship with gratitude the way David did, in all seasons.
When we notice that our relationship with Him can be mended, may we be given courage to take responsibility for the hardship and our consequences in this world. While it is human to choose to act out of our own selfish desires, our only mercy and grace comes from our God who is not obligated to love us.
May you experience a deep gratitude at the incredible generosity of our God to daily choose to love us.
How did David respond to Nathan confronting his sin issues? Summarize his responses in verses 13-20 in your own words.
Why did David mourn while his son was still alive?
The way David responded to his son’s death was unexpected in many ways. Which of his behaviors was most surprising?
Is it easier for you to give consequences to others or accept consequences from others?
Write about a time you found relief in receiving a consequence. What other emotions did you feel when you were given a consequence? In what ways did the consequences benefit you moving forward?
Reflection
After he accepted the consequences for his actions, David arose, cleaned up, and went to worship God. Enjoy a few minutes of worshiping God for caring about you enough to give you consequences. Consider listening to “Brokenness Aside” or “All The Poor And Powerless” by All Sons & Daughters.
An excerpt of The Heart of God: Through David’s Eyes by Jill Ng