Day 7: Still Known when Apathetic
of The Heart of God: Through David’s Eyes
Below is Day Seven of the study, but there is an introduction to check out which gives context and sets the tone, and previous weeks to look at below. If you would like the full content all in one place, this book is now available for purchase on Amazon. Week 1 - He Longs for Us to Know Who We Are
Day 1: We Are His People
Day 2: Chosen when Humble
Day 3: Victorious when Weak
Day 4: Loved when Selfish
Day 5: Valued when Careless
Day 6: Protected when Destructive
Day 7: Still Known when Apathetic
God was very aware of the mistakes and sins that David would make when he chose him to be the next king. Although all Samuel saw was a young shepherd boy, God saw him as much more than the weak man he was. Our God, who chose David to be king, was not surprised at David’s brokenness. He knew David would be an imperfect, sinful person. He was displeased but knew David’s heart.
When I read 2 Samuel 11 in its entirety, the aspect of the story that is most offensive to me is the apathy David displays. He does not seem brokenhearted about his failures. There seems to be no disruption within his soul as he continues to make these selfish, inconsiderate, destructive choices. We have not yet seen any remorse or consideration of others in him.
The reason this disturbs me is the familiar way my heart can grow cold to the needs of others. My lack of consideration for others is also an easily accessible feeling to me. I can go days without thinking about how my actions impact others, and I often use others to get what I want without intention. But what is even more humbling is that I also use others for my own personal benefit, intentionally, as David does in this story.
As humans, we frequently put ourselves on pedestals above others. We think we deserve more than someone else. In order to lift ourselves up, we must push others down. If we consider ourselves as more important than others, someone is less important. This story sharpens this reality into a clear picture that ushers me into self reflection in a way that brings me to repulse my humanity.
But this is where we have to remember our humanness is not something that will be resolved completely on this side of heaven. We can choose to enter into the transformation process, and like a caterpillar, we can submit to a safe cocoon, but our emergence is not quite the same. We can allow God to nurture and heal us in His safe embrace, but we will always be sinful, imperfect works in progress.
Embracing God’s heart for us includes being aware that God loves us in an undeserving way. We are just as guilty as David. Our sin is equally-despicable. The way we use others, turn apathetic towards God, and appease our own sinful desires is part of our humanness. While this does not excuse us from our sinful behavior, it also does not disqualify us from being valuable and known by God.
What makes David unique is he was broken but was also aware of his sinfulness. As we continue to discover his posture and the complex relationship he had with God, we can see that our brokenness doesn’t have to be the end of the story. When we notice we are a mess, there are options for us. God has more than displeasure. He still craves a relationship with David, and with us, when humanness is exposed.
Think of someone you know that is very honest about their weaknesses. How does knowing about their failures impact what you think about them?
Authenticity is difficult, and David, the king of Israel, could have easily struck these words from publication, but we will see he publicly publishes his songs of reflections on these very events. There are details from this story David must have disclosed to the author, and I wonder if he contributed those details to these words being written. What does David’s openness about this story tell us about him?
How easy is it for you to expose your humanness openly to others?
Do you desire to be more transparent about your imperfections and sinfulness? Why or why not?
Reflection Activity
Write a prayer asking God to adjust your desire to be transparent with His desires for you on this subject.
An excerpt of The Heart of God: Through David’s Eyes by Jill Ng