Day 4: Loved when Selfish
of The Heart of God: Through David’s Eyes
Below is Day Four of the study, but there is an introduction to check out which gives context and sets the tone, and previous weeks to look at below. If you would like the full content all in one place, this book is now available for purchase on Amazon. Week 1 - He Longs for Us to Know Who We Are
Day 1: We Are His People
Day 2: Chosen when Humble
Day 3: Victorious when Weak
Day 4: Loved when Selfish
“Don’t care how, I want it now!”
Current modern culture has frequently been identified as heavily focused on immediate gratification. In the first Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory movie (circa 1971), we saw some spoiled children, including a little girl named Veruca Salt, spew countless demands at their parents. Toward the end of the movie, Veruca sings a song listing dozens of her demands, including ownership of one of Willy Wonka’s golden geese. When Willy refuses the request, even at the offer of naming his own price, she reaches the climax of the song and gets quite ridiculous, requesting things that are not even attainable:
I want the world
I want the whole world
I want to lock it all up in my pocket
It's my bar of chocolate
Give it to me, NOW!...
…I want a party with room fulls of laughter
Ten thousand tons of ice cream
And if I don't get the things I am after
I'm going to scream!...Then, after even more demands, she concludes with the unforgettable line:
…Don't care how, I want it now! (www.lyricsondemand.com)Both the movie and the book it is based on, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl, are commentaries on modern culture. In the book, the workers—called Oompa Loompas–have lengthy poems which were filled with criticisms of the behavior exhibited by the visitors. These reflections on our culture are somewhat difficult to read due to their accurate observations of the entitled and spoiled disposition of people today. Even the shortened versions of the poems put to song in the movies were quite direct and humbling. The observations made are sadly just as true today as they were over 60 years ago.
Whatever we want, we want it now. Our lives get busy, hurried, and stressful, and something we desire swiftly becomes a need in our minds. The evidence is everywhere: from Amazon to DoorDash. I include myself in this culture issue because I frequently use these convenient ways of getting what I want.
There are many times I order something off of Amazon that I want, but convince myself I need asap and select 2-day shipping even though I could absolutely pick it up from a store myself. A few days after I order items, I am so distracted and get so busy, I forget what I’ve even ordered! Other times, I am waiting on the package and checking the delivery status regularly. Any delay of a day or two of a delivery can ignite overwhelm due to the hurried and time-sensitive nature of our expectations.
In our lives that are hurried and busy, we frequently lean on comfort items and stress relievers. There are times our comfort is found in something slightly more expensive or convenient such as a prepackaged snack or a drive-thru cup of coffee. At other times, we reach out to something we desire that is more damaging: a cocktail, a television show or book that will satisfy our glorified, distorted image of how things “should be”, or we’ll look at images of the ideal bodies we desire to have or use to achieve our own desires. The most concerning is when we use others to get what we want and disregard how it affects those we abuse.
David, under the stress of war, was also eager for instant gratification. He wanted to satisfy the desires of his stressed and tired mind and body. Unlike most kings who traditionally joined his people at war in spring, David chose to stay behind in Jerusalem. Instead of participating in the war first hand, he stayed behind.
His staying behind could have been for a number of reasons. Perhaps his shame for not joining the men at war kept him up at night. There may be his expressed struggles with depression in his Psalms that kept him from the front lines. His lack of participation in this aspect of the war is most likely linked to his several prior victories. David had just returned from slaying hundreds of men and disarming an entire army.
Regardless of why he was feeling low and was staying back from the adventures as a result of his overconfidence or shame, he chose to stay back. David’s isolation left room for restless nights and for his desires to overtake his mind. He was walking around aimlessly and gave into a craving for something that didn’t belong to him.
In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem. One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful. (2 Samuel 11:1-2)
David not only had the desire to have something, he also had the power to take it. In this moment of weakness, he chose to misuse his authority as king. He took his desire a step further and ordered for his people to discover who this woman was.
The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” (2 Samuel 11:2b-3)
Regardless of his power and authority, David had forgotten the value of this woman bathing nearby. He did not listen to the fact that she was already a wife or pay attention to her commitment to her husband. David ignored God’s command to respect the boundaries of marriage and decided to take what he wanted another step further.
One of the shocking things about this story is that these events are shortly after God made a handful of promises to David through the prophet, Nathan (see 2 Samuel 7). David was appalled at the lack of respect given to God as he compared his beautiful and newly-built palace to the make-shift pop-up worship arena (tent) in which God remained. Nathan conveyed God’s heart to use David and his future child to build Him a place of worship. God promised David that His love would never be taken away from his family and committed to protecting them. David responded to God’s promises with humility by mentioning his unworthiness.
What is incredible about our God is that He knew that David would quickly turn around after the intimate connection, after his victory in battle, and then deliberately disobey Him. Despite David learning and experiencing God’s protection and defeating the armies, his humanness remained.
Eventually, David chose to indulge his selfish desires, but God was not surprised by David’s humanness. He was very aware that David would fail, but He still chose him as the king. With awareness that David was a broken, messy, sinful person, God still pursued and anointed him.
Our God’s love does not depend on our gratitude for the victories He gives us. His love is not conditionally based on behavior or circumstances. It is freely given, even when not received. Even when David showed his desires were more important to him than his obedience to God’s law, God still had great love for him. The depth of God’s love for us can not be compared to a fleeting, casual love. This love is not based on pleasure, reciprocality, or action.
God’s love, which He offered to David, is the same non-reciprocal, unconditional love which He extends to us. His open-armed invitation is offered to us, regardless of our self-centeredness and imperfection.
List specific times or seasons in which you are more likely to indulge your selfish desires?
In what ways do you appease your selfish desires?
When you look at the times you have leaned into your selfish desires, do you feel lovable? What does that cross-section of sinfulness and feeling loved look like for you?
What about David’s selfish desires being on display encourages or discourages you to accept that you also have selfish desires of your own?
How do you feel about your belovedness (the fact that God loves you) not being dependent on your behavior or abilities? How does this awareness impact your daily life?
An excerpt of The Heart of God: Through David’s Eyes by Jill Ng